A flight to forget
Oh what a flight
Okuk's Last Flight
B707 Anecdotes
B707 Introduction
A Biblical Story
A Biblical Story 2
A Biblical Story 3
Forbidden Fruits
Joe's Jolly (Poem)
The Golfer
Suitably Restrained
PX Advertisment 1
PX Advertisment 2
PX Advertisment 3
PX Article 1
PX Article 2
PX Article 3
The Check Ride
First and Last Flt.
First Command
DC3 KOK - POM
The Holiday
Friends at Last
History of P2ANQ
Ferry Flight
Crayfish
FO Cassanova
Larry Blackman
Secret Revealed
Airbus A300
Cargo Capers
Doing it Differently
Side Slip
Larry Blackman
4th Floor Memo
International Arsonist
Office Works
Thru Eyes of a Hostie
Airline Anecdotes
THE CHECK RIDE FROM HELL Posted By Ian Fischer
In the latter days of the B707 - about 1984 I think - as the Fleet Captain 707 - I was acting as the Captain-under-Check in the Qantas B707 simulator in Sydney.
The aim of the exercise was to have Avern Game passed out as a Check Captain by an observing DCA Examiner. The flight deck was awash with Management and DCA official - Adrian Fielding.
There was me, the F/O (whom I forgot), Senior Check Engineer Alistair Jack who was in turn checking another Flight Engineer, and a PNG Examiner of Airman and of course Avern.
I was also doing my own licence renewal as well as being the guinea pig for AG to demonstrate his simulator control skills upon........
We were doing a LOFT (Line Orientated Flight Training) sector from Brisbane to Sydney. During the descent into Sydney at about 20,000 feet, I started to feel the first twinge of something amiss in my stomach! A decidedly uncomfortable pain was making it's presence known and I was starting to feel a bit sick in the guts!
Around 10,000 feet, I made the announcement to all that I was in pretty serious pain and would have to abandon the exercise! Of course, to my horror, some clown made the call "Pilot Incapacitation" and immediately dragged out that checklist! What the rest of the crew thought was that was a setup between me and the Examiner to test out how AG would handle the situation..............
"No you fools" I shrieked, "this is the real thing! Get me to a Doctor fast!
To my horror, Alistair Jack lent forwards and - as per the check list - slid my chair rearwards and applied the manual locking lever that held my shoulder and seat harness firmly in the fastened position.
By now I was in sheer agony with the pain in my guts and had to listen to my crew babbling on about the F/O taking over, getting an Ambulance for our arrival, telling ATC and warning the cabin crew that their Captain looked like croaking!
"Mother of God, you fools", I shouted. "I am really and truly dying. Look, trust me, I am shaking and sweating. Please oh please let me outa here!"
My uncaring crew completed the checklist, then opened the Operating Manual (good guys!) and read through all the pages to make sure they had covered everything. Great!
By now, I was a babbling and incoherent mess so I figured that the only way to inject some reality into the situation was to promptly chuck up on the radio panels on the centre console.
This achieved immediate realization from all present that I was not just putting on an act and was really (really) ill!
The simulator motion was promptly killed, the wretched machine opened up and I was helped out by somebody whereupon I promptly collapsed on the steel grid platform. Someone cried out "loosen his tie, loosen his tie". Adrian Fielding responded to this suggestion, slipped while trying to get my tie undone and slammed me a decent uppercut under the chin.
Now half unconscious, white hot pain in my guts and throwing up everywhere, we finally got me to a Doctor at what I recall was the wee hours of the morning. Ah, morphine!
48 hours later I was in hospital following the removal of nine big gall stones! There is no pain on earth like a gall bladder attack!
....................... but AG passed his test anyway!!!
In the latter days of the B707 - about 1984 I think - as the Fleet Captain 707 - I was acting as the Captain-under-Check in the Qantas B707 simulator in Sydney.
The aim of the exercise was to have Avern Game passed out as a Check Captain by an observing DCA Examiner. The flight deck was awash with Management and DCA official - Adrian Fielding.
There was me, the F/O (whom I forgot), Senior Check Engineer Alistair Jack who was in turn checking another Flight Engineer, and a PNG Examiner of Airman and of course Avern.
I was also doing my own licence renewal as well as being the guinea pig for AG to demonstrate his simulator control skills upon........
We were doing a LOFT (Line Orientated Flight Training) sector from Brisbane to Sydney. During the descent into Sydney at about 20,000 feet, I started to feel the first twinge of something amiss in my stomach! A decidedly uncomfortable pain was making it's presence known and I was starting to feel a bit sick in the guts!
Around 10,000 feet, I made the announcement to all that I was in pretty serious pain and would have to abandon the exercise! Of course, to my horror, some clown made the call "Pilot Incapacitation" and immediately dragged out that checklist! What the rest of the crew thought was that was a setup between me and the Examiner to test out how AG would handle the situation..............
"No you fools" I shrieked, "this is the real thing! Get me to a Doctor fast!
To my horror, Alistair Jack lent forwards and - as per the check list - slid my chair rearwards and applied the manual locking lever that held my shoulder and seat harness firmly in the fastened position.
By now I was in sheer agony with the pain in my guts and had to listen to my crew babbling on about the F/O taking over, getting an Ambulance for our arrival, telling ATC and warning the cabin crew that their Captain looked like croaking!
"Mother of God, you fools", I shouted. "I am really and truly dying. Look, trust me, I am shaking and sweating. Please oh please let me outa here!"
My uncaring crew completed the checklist, then opened the Operating Manual (good guys!) and read through all the pages to make sure they had covered everything. Great!
By now, I was a babbling and incoherent mess so I figured that the only way to inject some reality into the situation was to promptly chuck up on the radio panels on the centre console.
This achieved immediate realization from all present that I was not just putting on an act and was really (really) ill!
The simulator motion was promptly killed, the wretched machine opened up and I was helped out by somebody whereupon I promptly collapsed on the steel grid platform. Someone cried out "loosen his tie, loosen his tie". Adrian Fielding responded to this suggestion, slipped while trying to get my tie undone and slammed me a decent uppercut under the chin.
Now half unconscious, white hot pain in my guts and throwing up everywhere, we finally got me to a Doctor at what I recall was the wee hours of the morning. Ah, morphine!
48 hours later I was in hospital following the removal of nine big gall stones! There is no pain on earth like a gall bladder attack!
....................... but AG passed his test anyway!!!
