A flight to forget
Oh what a flight
Okuk's Last Flight
B707 Anecdotes
B707 Introduction
A Biblical Story
A Biblical Story 2
A Biblical Story 3
Forbidden Fruits
Joe's Jolly (Poem)
The Golfer
Suitably Restrained
PX Advertisment 1
PX Advertisment 2
PX Advertisment 3
PX Article 1
PX Article 2
PX Article 3
The Check Ride
First and Last Flt.
First Command
DC3 KOK - POM
The Holiday
Friends at Last
History of P2ANQ
Ferry Flight
Crayfish
FO Cassanova
Larry Blackman
Secret Revealed
Airbus A300
Cargo Capers
Doing it Differently
Side Slip
Larry Blackman
4th Floor Memo
International Arsonist
Office Works
Thru Eyes of a Hostie
Airline Anecdotes
DOING IT DIFFERENTLY Posted by Alistair (Jasper) Maskelyne
In Papua New Guinea things can be done differently. As passengers were boarded on my jet in Port Moresby, I watched with interest as two airport security guards helped a would be traveller to get up the steps. He was so hopelessly drunk that he was incapable of doing it by himself.
On another flight the local traffic officer came aboard with the load sheet he had prepared for my signature. It revealed that we would be landing 10,000 kilos heavier than when we departed Port Moresby. I commented that we should re-name this flight "Moonie Number 5", the name of an oil field in Australia, and then we should be able to sell the fuel back to the refuelling agents.
On Bougainville Island, which was the site of the great open cut copper mine at Panguna eventually taken over and trashed by the Bougainville Revolutionary Army, our company had a scheduled jet service, departing at 5.30pm.
Trouble was that Bougainville is the most eastern of all PNG airports. The sun sets there first, and despite the importance of the airport to the huge mine, there were no runway lights. So it was necessary to take off by 5.45pm while there was still enough light for the operation.
On this occasion, at 5.20pm, our chief cabin attendant came to me: she said that an extremely large and drunken member of a football team just boarded was now roaming the cabin shouting abuse and molesting the girls. I called the company terminal staff, they came aboard and were unable to subdue the large recalcitrant footballer.
Time was now pressing. We had to get away in ten minutes. So I made a PA: "Due to passenger problems we are unable to make this departure on time. We are re-scheduling it for 6am tomorrow . Please return to the terminal and advise traffic staff of your intentions". With that, I shut down the Auxiliary Power Unit, which provided light and air conditioning to the cabin. The effect was immediate: the rest of the football team grabbed their drunken mate and threw him down the steps. We departed on time.
In Papua New Guinea things can be done differently. As passengers were boarded on my jet in Port Moresby, I watched with interest as two airport security guards helped a would be traveller to get up the steps. He was so hopelessly drunk that he was incapable of doing it by himself.
On another flight the local traffic officer came aboard with the load sheet he had prepared for my signature. It revealed that we would be landing 10,000 kilos heavier than when we departed Port Moresby. I commented that we should re-name this flight "Moonie Number 5", the name of an oil field in Australia, and then we should be able to sell the fuel back to the refuelling agents.
On Bougainville Island, which was the site of the great open cut copper mine at Panguna eventually taken over and trashed by the Bougainville Revolutionary Army, our company had a scheduled jet service, departing at 5.30pm.
Trouble was that Bougainville is the most eastern of all PNG airports. The sun sets there first, and despite the importance of the airport to the huge mine, there were no runway lights. So it was necessary to take off by 5.45pm while there was still enough light for the operation.
On this occasion, at 5.20pm, our chief cabin attendant came to me: she said that an extremely large and drunken member of a football team just boarded was now roaming the cabin shouting abuse and molesting the girls. I called the company terminal staff, they came aboard and were unable to subdue the large recalcitrant footballer.
Time was now pressing. We had to get away in ten minutes. So I made a PA: "Due to passenger problems we are unable to make this departure on time. We are re-scheduling it for 6am tomorrow . Please return to the terminal and advise traffic staff of your intentions". With that, I shut down the Auxiliary Power Unit, which provided light and air conditioning to the cabin. The effect was immediate: the rest of the football team grabbed their drunken mate and threw him down the steps. We departed on time.
